Not So True Psychic Tales
by sonicsora
Summary: One of the drawbacks about having a good portion of your life dramatized in a comic book is when they decide to write a romance between you and your partner. Sasha will never not be annoyed by this, he got out of the closet years ago, thank you. Milla tries to cheer him up with good news of a sort.


Something silly and fun, eyyy. Cross-posted on AO3. Eddie's been racelifted to Hispanic here, cause, I _could_. Very clearly background Eddie/Sasha going on here. Milla and Sasha are bffs.

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Sasha scrubbed his hand across his face, "Mein Gott." He flipped the comic closed in an annoyed huff. Milla simply laughed, reclining back in her chair. Another Tuesday night was turning into both of them getting buzzed listening to disco records in her apartment.

She crossed one leg over the other, enjoying the huff Sasha was getting into. "I told you, darling."

"Still." He picked up his wine glass, taking a sip as Milla rolled her eyes. The Brazilian woman was not remotely surprised at this point. If anything True Psychic Tales was consistent in its themes.

She swirled her drink in her glass idly before taking a sip herself. "Darling, you know the comic is about three years behind anything modern. They still have me in that horrible short haircut I tried for a month."

"Even then, we were never a couple. So its less behind and just wrong in general." He groused, picking up the comic book by the spine, like the entire book was contaminated from the cover alone.

He flipped it back to the cover. Like many comic covers, it had very little to do with the story inside. Milla hard an arm draped over Sasha's shoulder, her fingers tangled in his hair on the other side of his head. Her lips were pressed against his cheek whilst Sasha held a gun pointed at the viewer. It was ridiculous pulp trash at its finest.

"Consider this a positive, darling." Milla flipped open the book with telekinesis, turning a few pages before landing on one close to the end of the issue. She leans forward slightly to point out the last few panels on the page. "Eddie does show up, briefly."

Sasha reluctantly leans forward to squint. Eddie was talking with Sasha himself in a page's background whilst Milla worked on a case file in the forefront. He snorted disapprovingly. "They made Eddie _white_."

Milla simply takes a slow sip of her wine, brow quirking upwards. "I'm sure in a few issues they'll figure out he isn't white. You know how they handle my skin tone in certain issues." To say it was a long-standing argument would be understating matters.

The German man paused at that. "True."

"Trust me, give this about twenty issues and Eddie will finally take over my spot as your romantic interest." She waves her hand casually, dropping the comic on the coffee table between them. "Not to mention look more like himself."

"I think you're underestimating comic time, give it a hundred issues." Sasha deadpanned readily back, flipping pages with his own telekinesis. He wrinkled his nose as he glared down at the page. "They didn't even get Eddie's profile right-"

"Did you provide them pictures?"

"I gave them a few…" Sasha's annoyance at being pestered meant he hadn't sent out as many pictures as he could have. He mostly complained to Eddie about the comics never being decent. It was his status quo when it came to this sort of things.

"They'll need more if you ever want them to get him right." Milla readily states, quick to make her point clear. "Why do you think I always look fabulous?"

Sasha grumbled, just taking another long sip of his wine. "You and I both know the reason why, Agent Vodello. You're naturally gorgeous to begin with. Someone would have to be oblivious not to get that." He set his half-empty wine glass down, having been hitting it harder with the comic talk.

"Flattery will, of course, get you more wine, Agent Nein." She teased easily back. She levitated the wine bottle over to refill his glass. Sasha exhaled a little, watching as she so effortlessly levitated the bottle away.

"Danke." Sasha brought the glass back up to himself after a moment to take a long sip from it. The way he was drinking made Milla glad they already agreed Eddie was going to pick Sasha up in a few hours.


End file.
